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Post by haus on Aug 5, 2015 4:21:46 GMT -5
Against his better judgement, Jonah thought it'd be a great idea to mosey on down to one of the seedier bars he passed by a few times before. It caught his interest— it was kind of, like, rustic looking in a way, what with it being slightly tucked away in a corner. Just barely out of view. As if it had something to hide. But, hey, let's be real— it'd probably be no seedier than the NovaMartTM near his apartment complex. Which is to say, it was probably like, not even a three on a scale of one to there are bloodstains on the floor is this a bad sign. Maybe it'd be like, a two. And a two would be equivalent to the occasional strange yellow stain on a bar stool, or an unpleasant smell emanating from the bathroom— both of which were kinda gross, but not enough to keep Jonah from checking out the place.
He did need to kill time, after all. Instead of like, using it to do productive things. Like working on his various "art" projects. Which, really, didn't even consist of actual art as far as he was concerned. His upper-class patrons were strange and they had strange tastes and Jonah was lazy so there were already -485394598 reasons for him to goof off— so with that, he opened the door to the bar, slipping inside and scanning the place over for anyone interesting. He had to admit, it looked a lot nicer on the inside than the outside— dimly lit with the smell of synthetic leather and alcohol rushing past every time he took a step. The bar counter was in the back, surrounded by a bunch of burly-looking men and a few ladies making small talk with them.
Jonah wrinkled his nose. Maybe this place was too straight for him. When he looked up to see flatscreens project some weird sport he didn't care about, he felt like he could almost taste the testosterone.
Yeah. Okay. Let's just not.
He turned around on his heel— and accidentally bumped into a guy with a ridiculous beard, spilling the drink in his hand all over the backside of a really fucking huge guy sitting alone at the counter.
Oh... okay. Shit.
"I, uh," Jonah started, "I totally did not mean to do that."
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Post by gabir on Aug 5, 2015 4:47:33 GMT -5
Life sometimes got people down. It was a universal truth. Sometimes someone just needed a way to cope with things. An unhealthy way. Those were so much easier than just dealing with it the proper way. Today, Gabir's vice was alcohol. Nothing too much. A few beers, maybe. It... wasn't good for him to lose his inhibitions entirely. But a little alcohol numbs a man, and that's exactly what he needed. His last 'mission' was... brutal. He would rather not think about it. He did his job, got paid, and went home.
To someone his size, a 'few' beers tended to mean at least six. Enough to get a buzz. He closed his eyes, letting the noises around him turn into one big blur. People talking about trivial things. Seedy people trying to get laid. Barflies looking for a quickie in the bathroom. A television that was loud enough that one had to talk over it, but quiet enough that it couldn't be properly heard over the voices. Relax, Gabir. Just... relax.
Let it become white noise.
He gulped down the rest of his mug. That made seven. The bitter liquid barely had a taste. Probably watered-down. But it was doing its job. Then... something cold ran down his back. A lot of it. He immediately snapped back into reality, whipping his head around. Some idiotic-looking man had spilled his beer on him. Sure, he was just wearing a tank top and jeans... old, lazy fashion. But stains were stains, and he wasn't fond of buying new clothes.
Some pink thing was stammering. The bearded idiot looked ready to punch it.
With a grunt, Gabir put his hand firmly on the man's shoulder and stood. Sure, many men in the bar were oversized testosterone jockeys... but Gabir was still bigger. Freakishly huge, almost. Seven feet of sculpted muscle. The bearded man immediately calmed down, not wanting a fight. Gabir turned to face the pink-haired man who honestly did not belong in a place like this. He spoke, his voice baritone and his eyes cold.
"Shouldn't we replace his drink?"
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Post by haus on Aug 5, 2015 5:08:19 GMT -5
The literal fucking tower of a man stood and Jonah suddenly felt very, very small. And he wasn't even that short to begin with. This guy was just seriously that freakin' huge, which wasn't really weird considering how many people got spliced with random animals these days, but it wasn't every day you ran into someone whose crotch would probably be face-level if you were sitting down.
Yeah, okay. Strange mental image there.
Jonah blinked, first at the tall guy, then at the bearded wonder in front of him.
"Uh... yeah. Sure! Drink's on me!"
Jonah could feel beardo's eyes bear into his skin. Jonah also found that he was extremely distracted by this awkward situation, not completely registering the fact that he could've just pissed two beefy dudes off simultaneously until after the bartender scanned his NUIP and handed another drink to the bearded one. Jonah watched him walk away, then blinked back to reality. Right. There was another guy here who just lost a wifebeater to a shot of whiskey. Right.
"Oh... uh. Wow. Shit. Sorry about that," Jonah said, grimacing a little. "Uh... I can, like, set you up with some... clothes..."
Jonah quickly realized there was no way he could actually do that, considering the man's size. Also, all of his shit was in varying shades of pink. He had an inkling that this dude might've preferred something less... Jonah-y.
"Erm, I can give you money. If you want it. To like, replace the tank."
Incredible. Jonah's wonderful problem solving skills save the day yet again.
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Post by gabir on Aug 5, 2015 5:41:59 GMT -5
Gabir's gaze seemed to soften once the conflict was resolved. Fighting in public was a very bad idea. No, he kept his calm at all times. The little pink man was even... amusing. He was so clearly out of his element. Why was he even here? He looked like he belonged somewhere... gayer. Wow, way to promote stereotypes, Gabir. Good thing he didn't particularly give a shit about being offensive. Wait, the little man was offering to give him a shirt. Then to buy him one instead. Amused, he gave the man the slightest of smirks. You know what? Fuck it. He was going to try and be a little sociable. He never was, and this little man was hardly any kind of threat. He'd maybe tease him a little, then let him be on his way. Predatory urges didn't always have to be settled in a physical manner.
He clapped his hand down on the little man's shoulder, shaking his head. See, now is where most people would notice his genetic modifications. His hand was huge, but that was to be expected. What was not to be expected was the fact it was green, scaly, and clawed. Clearly reptilian. It seemed ot be just his hands, though. And... the crocodile tail that threatened to trip anyone not paying attention as they walked by.
"Apologies, but I don't think your clothes would fit very well. If you want to make it up to me, then sit and have a drink. Might put some hair on your chest."
Okay, maybe he was a little bit of a bully sometimes. He couldn't help it. It was this or beating the shit out of something... or someone. Still, at least he was teasing and not just being a total asshole. He motioned for two more drinks, allowing his NUIP to be scanned (albeit with a little difficulty, due to his height). Two pints of the same watered-down, bitter crap he was drinking before were put in front of him. Turning away from the pink man, he sat at the bar again. Honestly? He wouldn't even mind if the little man left. Indulging himself was a bad thing, and the last thing he needed was an enabler.
Still, he was cute in a sugary, sickening kind of way.
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Post by haus on Aug 5, 2015 14:26:18 GMT -5
Jonah felt squeamish. Not in a physical sense, but in the sense that he wasn't sure of he could stomach the phrase put some hair on your chest because he spent quite a lot of money trying to do the exact opposite thing. He did not like hair on his body. He was fine if other people liked that, for like, themselves you know. But Jonah could not stand it ew ew ew ew ew ew. Not even the goddamn thought of it.
But he decided to stick around for the sake of paying off his dues, since he didn't think pissing off gatorman here was a really good idea. It seemed miracle enough that he was letting Jonah off the hook for the tank, so it'd probably be wise not to press his luck much further.
He took a seat next to the guy, feeling very much out of place. If he had to describe the bar in three words, he'd use these: stinky man cave. Three things he would never associate with himself. Except for the man bit. Just not for the, uh, same reasons.
"So..." Jonah started, eyes glossing over the drink menu. "You... come here... often...?"
This bar-hopping habit of his clearly needed to stop.
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Post by gabir on Aug 6, 2015 2:09:35 GMT -5
"Too often."
Oh look. The little man sat with him. So much for not being enabled. Maybe just a little more teasing would get his urges out of his system. Socializing really was a bad idea. He seriously needed to work on his self-control more. He glanced over at his clearly uncomfortable companion, sliding the second pint over to him.
"You already have a drink."
With that, he gave the slightest of grins and quickly downed his own. Not as... gracefully as he would prefer. He was just a liiittle buzzed after. Maybe a little more than a little. He slammed the empty mug back on the table, letting out a satisfied sigh before wiping the beer that had dribbled down his chin.
"Tastes like shit. Still... cold and refreshing. And cheap."
He turned to give his unwilling drinking buddy a good look, since he really had only noticed his hair before. Hmm... Clearly male. Feminine. Kind of prissy-looking. Really looked out of place. Maybe if he grew some facial hair... No, he doubted this man wanted anything to do with being masculine. The very idea of rejecting masculinity was utterly foreign to him, but to each their own. He kept staring, his eyes unfocused as he lost himself in thought. Being introspective was a hobby of his. Probably his only healthy one. Still, he must have looked rather odd staring the poor thing down. He mindlessly scratched at his stubble a bit, miraculously not breaking the skin with the claws on his hand. A closer look would reveal that the points seemed to be... filed down a bit.
Hurting himself would be problematic. Hurting others unwittingly, however... was absolutely unacceptable.
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Post by haus on Aug 6, 2015 2:56:35 GMT -5
Well, if gatorman was looking for an abstinence-buddy, he wouldn't find one in Jonah. Jonah was the exact opposite of abstinence— he made it routine to indulge in various vices— and alcohol was one of them. Still, Jonah didn't like not being in control. Perhaps surprisingly, he preferred being in control of his words, thoughts, and actions as much as he possibly could. A little alcohol here and there made dull evenings more interesting, but that was the extent of his drinking— and he never drank enough to get drunk. He'd seen enough of that in his lifetime to last him for at least three hundred years.
In other words, he didn't always drink alcohol, but when he did, he preferred doing it in moderation.
Judging by the slowly growing line of bottles next to crocodile-guy, Jonah felt he could safely assume this wasn't... exactly the definition of "moderate drinking"... though, to be fair, he was kind of big. Maybe that's how much it actually took to get drunk.
Jonah blinked at the drink sliding towards him. It was alcohol alright— beer, to be exact. Complete with the nose-scrunching, bitter stench that always accompanied it. Jonah made a face, looked at the beer, up at the bartender, and... sighed. Clearly Hulkodile here was trying his best to be friendly, however misguided the attempt might've been. And Jonah wasn't a big enough jerk to turn him down, especially with that ruined tank top hanging over his head. So he smiled a little, taking the bottle in his hand and sniffed it gingerly. The man was right. If it smelled like shit, surely it must've tasted like shit too. Maybe that was the beauty of beer— the more you drank, the drunker you got, and the drunker you got, the better it tasted.
People came up with the most ingenious ways to torture themselves voluntarily.
Jonah took a tiny, tiny sip, and. Yep. Uh-huh. He'd never tasted actual shit before ever in his entire life (because who would, really?) but this was probably as close to it as he'd be able to get without actually engaging in the act.
He gently slid the beer bottle away, trying his best to keep a smile on his face.
"So, uh, I guess I should introduce myself? I'm Jonah, and apparently I'm clumsy as hell."
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Post by gabir on Aug 6, 2015 3:45:52 GMT -5
God, this kid was kind of a wimp. He just kind of... sipped his beer. He briefly considered forcing him to chug it... but now it wouldn't even be funny. Just... kind of sad. He sighed, thinking to himself about how bad of an idea this was. Last thing he needed was to feel any kind of pity. Growing attached was also something he wouldn't let himself do. Friends? Nope. Lovers? Definitely not. Family? Nada. Still... being polite was acceptable.
"Yes. You are. I was sure that man would punch you. Not that I would allow it. Drinking time is peaceful time. Call me Gabir."
Well, that was a fuck up. Should have used a fake name. Made it harder for people to track you down. Oh well. This 'Jonah' didn't seem too keen on being around him anyway. What were the chances they would ever meet again? Might as well make conversation at this point. Sometimes it was nice to talk to another human being.
"Tell me, Jonah... Why are you here? This is... clearly not your kind of place."
He motioned to the beer, smirking just a little. Maybe the kid was expecting something fruity? Good luck finding it in a shitty place like this. The menu offered the exact opposite, in fact. Beer and liquor, that was what these people wanted. They weren't here for the taste, they were here to forget about life for a while. Oh look, his beer was empty. He reached over and grabbed Jonah's, deciding to down it instead of ordering another. Why let beer go to waste? Y'know, even it was was this cheap shitty stuff.
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Post by haus on Aug 6, 2015 4:01:49 GMT -5
"Thanks for saving my ass then," Jonah said, genuinely grateful for the intervention. "And, to be perfectly honest— I don't fucking know what I'm doing here. I just kind of saw the sign out in the front and thought I might just, y'know, check it out. What a great idea that was."
Yet despite what he said, Jonah was clearly still physically inside the bar. Leave it to fate to wrap him up in strange circumstances, such as talking to a walking, talking science experiment gone wrong.
Okay, that was a little mean. Not that Gabir could hear his thoughts, of course, but he deserved some slack. With that number of beers, it seemed pretty clear to Jonah that he wasn't drinking for enjoyment— hell, you'd barely have time to taste the shit going down your hatch with the way he drank. No, Gabir seemed like he wanted to get drunk. Or at least lose enough consciousness to dull whatever emotional pain he might've been harboring in that thick, possibly scaly chest of his.
Oh... now that was sad. A big, sad lizard, drinking alone on a Thursday night. No wonder he was being nice to Jonah. The least he could do was return the favor a little, right?
"But, hey... it wasn't like, a complete waste of time, you know? I mean, I'm sitting here with you, making small talk. That probably counts for something."
Jonah smiled, resting his elbows on the counter. See? He was nice. And Jonah was very good at worming his way onto people's whitelists.
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Post by gabir on Aug 6, 2015 4:47:15 GMT -5
...Kind words. He had almost forgotten how they sounded. It was... nostalgic. A feeling he shouldn't be indulging in. He was not the same man as he used to be. But... This was difficult. He maybe drank a little too much. His judgement wasn't at its best. Why not indulge just a little? It's not like he would kill poor Jonah, right? Right?
"Jonah... if talking to me is a high point, you have had an awful, awful day."
He smiled. He actually smiled. He actually had a nice one, too. At least he thought so. It just didn't happen all too often. He clapped Jonah on the back, hopefully not breaking his ribs or anything. The poor boy looked delicate. Then... he quickly withdrew his hand, looking embarrassed. He hadn't kept personal space in mind. Or y'know, the fact that his hands might freak some people out. His smile quickly vanished and was replaced with his usual stern, grumpy look.
"...Apologies. I may be a bit drunk."
There, that should clear things up. His eyes drifted away from Jonah and onto the menu, scanning it for something... Aha, there it was! Something that didn't taste like dick. He quickly ordered it, a glass full of what looked like vodka and orange juice being placed in front of Jonah. Well... it wasn't anything remotely fancy. But hey, it wasn't beer.
"For erm... requisitioning your drink. This one may be more to your tastes."
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