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Post by kyne on Jan 30, 2016 0:03:52 GMT -5
There had been so many times in the past month or so since he'd been taken that Kyne had wanted to go back, wanted to try and run away, wanted to figure out how to get home, but none of them had felt as sharp as this. He'd spent the past three hours staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep but not wanting to show how upset he was. The others - they wouldn't get it, they'd all been here their whole lives but he just hadn't. Eyes burned but he wouldn't let himself cry again, he couldn't. So instead, restless feet carried him up out of bed and into empty corridors, down in search of somewhere he could just be left alone. Maybe.... maybe it'd help.
The sound of his footsteps was all that he had, and if he closed his eyes maybe, just maybe, he could pretend that he was walking the halls at home. It was a bit of a stretch - the familiar chill, the sound of soft windchimes and mountain air, all of it was completely gone and part of that was likely why his stomach felt like it wanted to sink. He missed it all, even the parts he hated, even the stern eyes of attendants assigned to watch him and his brother while their father was off doing important things, even the way the wind sounded like it wanted to tear everything apart when it stormed. Why had his mother had to go, why had those stupid Jedi had to show up and take him, why couldn't his father had done anything? Now Poly would be left behind, alone and - - and here he was, just the same.
Kyne hadn't really noticed but he'd sunk back against a wall, tucked next to some sort of decorative pillar thing, his hands pressed against his eyes as he tried to convince himself not to be upset. He just -he just wanted to go home, this wasn't home and he didn't know what to do. During the day it was so much easier, because at least then he could concentrate on other things but at night it was so quiet and the quiet was just so loud.
He resigned himself to just breathe slowly and try and get his mind off of it for now, thankful for being alone at the moment. He'd head back, make an excuse for walking around out here, and call that it he supposed but not now, he needed a little longer.
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kyne is a loser
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Post by Teddy on Jan 30, 2016 1:31:02 GMT -5
The rooms in this place were so quiet, but it was something Teddy was used to. Coruscant was a nice place, really, at least in his eyes. Maybe it was because he was always around the other Jedi, and all of them were so pleasant -- well, except for that one other kid, he was a jerk. >8V
But speaking of that other kid, it wasn't hard to notice him leave the sleeping area. It was quiet enough that the sudden addition of footsteps and shuffling, however light it may have been, was enough to rouse Teddy from sleep. He'd sat up, groggy and heavy eyed, but that bright red hair was easy to decipher when it caught the faint light of the outside corridor. He's up to something! was the immediate thought process that led him out of bed and in pursuit of the outsider of an apprentice.
Although... as he followed after him, quietly peeking around corners and trying to keep their steps in line to avoid being discovered, Teddy began to realize that maybe he wasn't up to something. Eyebrows furrowed, he slowed to a stop when he noticed Kyne leaning against the wall. The other boy seemed... really, really sad, actually.
"Kyne," he called after a moment mostly to announce his presence, voice uncertain. Teddy didn't want to bug him, but he didn't want to leave him all alone. True Jedi had to be there for each other, right? He walked a few steps closer, clasping his hands together loosely in front of him. "What are you doing out here?"
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Vigilantes
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Post by kyne on Jan 30, 2016 3:30:25 GMT -5
For a moment he sat up straight, startled by the sudden noise before he realized who it was or what was said. His name called out, and its hesitant owner standing not far off. Teddy, the jerkface that he had a fun time arguing with and competing against, except he seemed a little less pointy in the dim hallway light than he had earlier in the day. Kyne hadn't thought he'd been followed, hadn't wanted to have been followed, and when he was asked what he was doing he sort of pulled back defensively, sharp response almost appearing but he couldn't quite follow through with it.
Instead, shoulders slumped back down and he shrugged, a soft sort of, "Wanted some time alone," falling from his lips. How could he say that he missed his family, missed his home? Coruscant was nothing like Isidil, all artificial and gray and lights. How could he ever feel right if he couldn't go home?
Hands sliding down his face, he glanced at the other boy - he seemed kinda concerned, and Kyne wasn't sure how to get him to go away. Instead, hoping his eyes didn't look like he wanted to cry, he tried to brush him off but his voice sort of caught in his throat. "I-I'm fine, just wanted to be by myself."
But he didn't - the last thing he wanted right now was to be alone but the people he wanted near him were so, so far away.
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kyne is a loser
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Post by Teddy on Jan 30, 2016 4:15:48 GMT -5
There was a good solid moment where Teddy was certain the other boy was going to pop off with some sharp response, but it never came. No, instead, Kyne seemed to sort of sink again, commenting about wanting to be alone. Oh. The darker haired boy pulled his hands up a little higher, momentarily wondering if maybe he should back off. They weren't really friends, right? So maybe he should go find one of the Jedi Knights or Masters to help him --
Violets stayed focused on the other boy, watching the way he looked and sounded. There was such a painfully sad air to him, that even when Kyne declared he was fine, that he wanted time to himself... there was no way Teddy could believe him. He took a few more steps closer, glancing around to make sure no one had followed him.
"Do you really?" Teddy probed, dropping his hands to his side. Maybe it was the Force guiding him? Was this something the Force could... do? He still had so much to learn.
Swallowing, he put on a more determined face, though his words were still a little shaky. "I, I think you shouldn't be alone. If you're -- if you're feeling overwhelmed, you have to open up. Or else, you may be tempted to the... D-Dark Side." That was what the Masters taught them, at least. Letting your emotions rule you was a one way ticket to falling for the evil side of the Force. And Teddy wouldn't wish that on anyone, even this guy.
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Post by kyne on Jan 30, 2016 4:46:39 GMT -5
Maybe he shouldn't have said anything, maybe he should have just been pointy- Teddy didn't really seem like he was going to back off and while it was nice that no one else had shown up, it was... kind of yet. Someone still could. It didn't help that he was talking to him, asking him if he really wanted to be alone. Why did it matter, why couldn't he just leave him alone?
Kyne turned away, but still listened - and then he was told to open up. This prompted Kyne to sort of stiffen up, looking away from Teddy with a sour expression. More and more of that but - - well, it wasn't just what he'd been taught here. His mother had talked about it too, so even though his kneejerk reaction was to scoff at what he was being told here, he loosened up after a second and brought his eyes up to the other boy.
"S' stupid, don't worry about it," was all he said for now, fidgeting a little. He didn't - he didn't want to admit he missed home, not to anyone here. Despite what he said, though, it felt like it was just bubbling up and ready to boil over inside him. He missed so many things, and he didn't have anyone here he felt like really talking to, hadn't really spoken about any of this stuff to anyone since he'd come here.
Shoulders slumped, he felt it all about to fall out of him and before he realized he was really saying anything, he asked, "Do you.... remember anything from your home?"
After all, he was told he was kind of a special case, that if his mother hadn't started training him in the ways of the Force already and if he hadn't caused a bit of trouble, that things would be different. Everyone here had been brought there when they were so little, so how could they even understand why he felt so upset?
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kyne is a loser
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Post by Teddy on Jan 30, 2016 5:21:15 GMT -5
Teddy frowned as soon as the boy turned away, considering that maybe his words would go ignored because it wasn't like he was actually a Jedi yet or anything. That was frustrating -- he just wanted to help. Did this dummy have to be so cold, even when Teddy was trying to be genuine and warm for once? He brought his arms crossed over his chest, pouting a bit in response.
Soon enough, though, Kyne brought silvers up again, and Teddy relaxed his shoulders once again. His pout shifted more into a frown at that movement, because the words leaving the other boy -- however dismissive they were -- still seemed edged in sadness. Don't worry about it -- but how could he not? The concern was already wedged deep in him.
Just as he was going to protest, the redhead spoke up again. "Home?" Teddy echoed, puzzled and dropping his arms again. The only home he'd even known was the silvery capital of the galaxy. Sure, he knew where he was born, he knew various little facts about the place, he'd considered visiting someday. But did he feel sad thinking about what he "left behind"? Not... really.
Glancing away, he lowered his voice. "I know things about it, but I was too young to remember anything about Ediloc..." Pausing, he tried to consider that question in reverse. Kyne had come here so much older than other apprentices were. He had to remember things -- so, in that light, what if Teddy had been taken away from Coruscant now, put somewhere where he didn't have any bonds?
"What about you? Where are you from?" Teddy offered, taking a few steps closer so he was near enough to talk quietly and be heard. Maybe... Kyne just needed to talk about things, maybe that would help.
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Post by kyne on Jan 30, 2016 5:39:51 GMT -5
Kyne knew it had been a stupid thing to ask the moment he'd said it but there was no way to take words back after they were already gone. Instead he followed as they were absorbed by the other boy, as he seemed to think about it and echo the word. Voice as quiet as Kyne's had been, he only said that he didn't remember much. That really made sense but - well, Kyne wasn't sure what he'd been hoping for. A quiet, "Oh," was his answer, but it seemed the dark haired boy wasn't done.
No, he went and asked about Kyne's home, the sort of question that jammed into him like an icicle and he wanted to answer but felt all locked up and stuck. Rolling tight in his stomach, the tingling and horrible feeling that made him want to cry again felt like it was going to burst. On a hesitant breath, though, he answered. Kyne was afraid if he said anything at all that it would all fall out, that he would cry and look stupid and he didn't want to cry in front of this jerk but it was too late now that he'd thought of it.
"Isidil," he said, he started and now he had to go on. A sad sort of smile washed over him as he continued, "It's bright and snowy, and its so much nicer than it is here. Nothing here really feels like outside - it's stupid. There's no animals, and -- "
He stopped, resting his cheeks in his hands with elbows on knees, and a sigh left him. Quietly, barely a whisper as it dragged itself out of him he added, "I wanna go back."
It felt sort of hard to say, and his eyes felt like burning again so he decided the floor was interesting. Everything felt wrong here, he just wanted to go home.
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kyne is a loser
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Post by Teddy on Mar 8, 2016 3:30:36 GMT -5
The way the other boy reacted made Teddy immediately regret asking. How hard was it? He couldn't understand, he could only guess. Taken away from the things you've known, the people you consider family -- no. Actual family, maybe actually parents and actual siblings. Teddy considered the friends he had here, the people he felt closest to, and tried to imagine a bond even stronger than that. Losing them was already a painful thought, but for something deeper...
He felt his eyes turn glassy when Kyne spoke up, because the way his voice sounded and the sad smile on his face was too much. Brows pinched together, he listened to the description given to him, and tried to imagine it. But he... he'd never seen snow before.
Slowly, he took a few more hesitant steps, sitting down next to Kyne. The quietly whispered I wanna go back had pierced through Teddy, and he bit his lower lip as if it would keep tears from spilling over. "What... what is snow like? Someday, we should visit Isidil together, and -- and you should show me. But for now... maybe you can..."
Teddy trailed off, hesitating. He didn't want to upset Kyne any further, so he glanced down and just fiddled with his hands. "You don't have to talk about it, though -- I don't want to make you..." What was the word he'd heard one of the ambassadors say in passing? "Homesick." Yeah, that was it. He scooted a little closer though, almost close enough to lean on the other boy -- but they weren't exactly good friends so maybe -- maybe that was too much.
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Vigilantes
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Post by kyne on Mar 8, 2016 21:24:00 GMT -5
This was no good but... despite the fact that he wanted to be alone, he was glad that Teddy had shown up. It somehow made it hurt less, even though Teddy was a huge jerk, because maybe just bickering with the other boy had made him feel somewhat familiar and that was ... something, he guessed. What he'd said, though, asking about snow, saying he didn't want to make Kyne homesick; the word made his stomach churn.
Homesick. It was far too late to prevent that- Kyne had been homesick from the moment he had set foot off of his home planet, from the moment he'd left his brother and father behind. He sucked in a breath, though, determined not to cry- not again, not in front of anyone! - and instead tried to think about it in a way that was good somehow. Good things.
"It's okay," he said quietly, looking up over at Teddy. Hands fiddled with the ends of his sleeves, he felt like he wasn't sure this was going to help but.... but maybe it would be nice to share stories with someone else? "Snow is...." Kyne scrunched his nose up, trying to think of how to describe it. "It's cold but... but not in a bad way? It's kind of fluffy and soft most of the time, and... it makes everything sort of shine. You can play with it, or..."
Shoulders sunk down, thinking of the things he and his brother had done - Poly would be alone now to do all those things, wouldn't he be? No one to build little castles out of snow with, with little snow lump people to guard them. A shakey breath left his lips at the thought, eyes tearing up, no - - a tear snuck out of the corner of his eye despite his best efforts. He didn't want to cry, he couldn't let himself- squeezing his eyes closed for a moment, he instead looked back up at Teddy after a second and he felt he was ready to speak again.
"You'd like it - I think," he said, trying not to let himself get upset. "It's better than here."
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kyne is a loser
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Post by Teddy on Mar 8, 2016 23:04:58 GMT -5
It was easy, so easy to worry that his words were wrong. Teddy didn't... he wasn't the type of person to console others. It was, quite frankly, really hard to do! It wasn't that he couldn't figure out how to use words, it was more that he just -- he wasn't sure if they would rub emotions the wrong way. He'd been working so hard to just kind of -- repress them.
But at least Kyne was still speaking, looking at him and trying to describe snow. Teddy closed his eyes as he listened, trying to imagine it. A good sort of cold -- like... ice cream on a hot day? Now he was imagining soft blankets of ice cream coating everything, and that brought a bit of a smile to his lips. He was going to comment on it, but then Kyne didn't end on the happiest note, so instead he opened his eyes -- just in time to see a tear steal down the other's cheek.
"Ah," he frowned, feeling tears threaten his own eyes. Without really knowing what he was doing, he reached out to grab Kyne's hands in his own. "I... I promise. We can visit your home as soon as we're Padawans -- maybe? Just a few years. We'll find a way. S-so don't be sad," his words had bubbled out in a rush, and he felt the streaks of a few tears rolling down his cheeks. "Promise."
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